I'll Be
by PeanutButterCups
Summary: A whimper sounded in the kitchen. Kurogane drew his sword and approached it cautiously. He could have screamed. He could’ve cried. He definitely wanted to hit the blond that lay on the floor. Blood pooled out from beneath the pale body.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Fai and Kurogane belong to CLAMP. The song "I'll Be" belongs to Edwin mcCain

They had been in this world for awhile. The manjuu bun was sure hat there were several feathers here. Syaoran was out with the princess and the manjuu bun looking for them. He, Kurogane, was stuck shopping with Fa- the mage.

"Kuro-chan!" said the mage, holding a strange device in his lap. It was shaped like a flattened gourd, with a flat stick attached to one end. It had strings stretching over most of it, too.

"What the hell is it?" Kurogane snatched it away and stared at it. Just then a clerk wandered over to them and chuckled.

"Eyeing the guitars, sir?" he said, gesturing towards the device in Kurogane's hand. Fai nodded enthusiastically. "Sit down sir, I'll show you how to hold it." Kurogane sat down, more out of curiosity than anything.

The clerk proceeded to maneuver the "guitar" to a more comfortable position. He stared at it, then glanced at Fai. He wanted this strange thing. Fai smiled and walked off with the clerk, a grin on his pale face. Ten minutes later, Fai returned and patted Kurogane on the head. Kurogane glared vehemently.

"Come on, Kuro-wan wan. We have more shopping to do," He half turned back, "Mommy bought daddy a present." Kurogane felt, strangely, pleased. He decided not to kill Fai, yet.

Later, the two men returned to their temporary residence. The kids weren't home yet. Kurogane sat on the couch and ran his fingers on the strings of his guitar, and a noise rang from it. He tensed up and considered breaking it. He set it down on a cushion and walked up to the bathroom.

He tried the knob, but the door was locked. Fai was in there. He went to turn and walk away, but he stopped. A small sobbing noise drifted through the door. Was the mage crying?

Kurogane felt a tug in his chest. He felt the urge to kick the door down and hold the smaller man. Wait…What in all the hells was he thinking? He turned quickly and went back downstairs. He turned on the radio, a strange device that played music. He had come to enjoy the little box.

*_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful…_* This was a pretty song. He closed his eyes and saw the mage. So pale, so fragile, so lovely.

He yanked his eyes open and grabbed his guitar. He listened to the song closely. He had no idea how he could, but he was playing the song. He had to learn the whole thing. He went out of the house to buy the "cd". He would learn it, he was determined to.

Kurogane returned to the house. The rest of the group was in the kitchen eating dinner. He set his cd down by the guitar and walked into the kitchen calmly.

"Good evening," Syaoran and Sakura bowed their heads politely. Kurogane ate quickly and retired to the room that he and Fai shared. He put in his cd and listened to that song, it was on low, he knew that the mage would NEVER let him live this down. If he was caught that is.

He learned each word, each note, each rhythm. He played to himself. Singing to an empty room. He heard the bathroom door open. He knew it was Fai, and he stood outside of the bathroom. It broke his heart to hear that noise. The mage was crying again. He slowly reached for the knob. It was unlocked.

He opened the door and saw the slim figure of Fai shakingly trying to support himself on the wall. Kurogane walked up behind Fai and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. Fai gasped at the warmth and sturdiness of the intruder.

"K-Kuro-sama?" he whispered weakly. Kurogane's breath was hot against Fai's neck.

"Yeah," Kurogane whispered, "it's me." He squeezed Fai closer.

"I…I must look a mess," Fai wriggled out of the larger man's grip and wiped his eyes, "Now what is it that you wanted, Kuro-pon?" That damned smile. That fake one. Kurogane could've hit Fai, but something made him stop. "I'll leave then. Obviously Kuro-wan wan doesn't want to talk."

"Wait!" Kurogane grabbed Fai's wrist, "Tell me what's wrong. You can't keep it in forever."

Fai snatched his arm away and chuckled. He glanced over his shoulder at the larger man, then hurried off. Kurogane roared and punched a hole straight through the mirror, ignoring his now very prominent wound. He was going to find out, it bothered him that the mage didn't trust him.

"Kurogane-san!" Syaoran called the next day from across the field, "You go home early, I can train by myself." Although he wasn't "by himself", the princess and the meat bun were watching.

Kurogane walked somberly home, knowing what awaited him. When he arrived, all the lights were off and the house was too quiet. Even too quiet for sleep. Fai must be out shopping, he mumbled and grabbed his guitar and started playing:

*_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderfulStop me and steal my breathAnd emeralds from mountains thrust towards the skyNever revealing their depthAnd tell me that we belong togetherDress it up with the trappings of loveI'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lipsInstead of the gallows of heartache that hang from aboveAnd I'll be your cryin' shoulderI'll be love suicide And I'll be better when I'm olderI'll be the greatest fan of your_--*

A whimper sounded in the kitchen. Kurogane drew his sword and approached it cautiously. He could have screamed. He could've cried. He definitely wanted to _hit _the blond that lay on the floor. Blood pooled out from beneath the pale body. He flipped Fai over onto his back. (A/N: Okay, I didn't realize I didn't put anything here. ***thank you to whoever brought this to my attention*** fAi fell down when he was cooking and hurt himself. Badly.)

"Fai! Fai!" Kurogane lightly shook the slighter man, whose head lolled to one side. "Damn you, wake up! Wake up, Fai!" He was crying, but silently. He pulled out a first-aid kit from a nearby drawer frantically. The white shirt was removed and he saw a gaping wound below Fai's heart. "Oh, no…Fuck!" he screamed as he dialed 9-1-1.

The ambulance arrived in 10 minutes. Fai was taken away on a stretcher. Kurogane followed close behind.

"What's your relationship to the victim?" the EMT said. Kurogane paused and placed a hand on the paling hand of the mage.

"…He's my everything," he whispered. The EMT rolled his eyes and gestured for Kurogane to get in the back. He had no idea where the kids were, but they weren't his priority right now. Fai looked paler than usual. He had lost too much blood. Kurogane squeezed Fai's hand gently.

"Ne," Fai wheezed from under the oxygen mask, "Are you worried, Kuro-tan?" His eyes didn't open when he spoke, he was too weak. Kurogane began to cry again, this angel was being called back to heaven, and he knew it.

"I'm just worried about how the kids will take it, and whether you're going to live," Kurogane closed his eyes and sighed forlornly.

"We're here, sir," the EMT and his co-workers carried Fai off into the hospital. Kurogane followed close behind.

Four hours later Fai sat in a small, white room. Kurogane sat in a chair by the bed, not wanting to leave Fai alone in a place like this. Fai stirred and woke up.

"Good night, Kuro-pin," Fai stood and walked out the door silently. He saw the guitar by Kurogane, perhaps he had a "get-well-soon" song planned. His chest hurt, with both grief and pain, but he couldn't stay. It would only cause him more pain in the long run. He was superfluous, unwanted, and he knew that. But the only thing that hurt him, was knowing that the kids would be in pain, and that Kurogane wouldn't care. So the bridge was the only answer. No matter how much he hated the idea of suicide, (he detested it with all the rage of 7 hells), being unwanted felt worse.

Kurogane awoke to an empty bed. He tore out of the hospital in blind panic. He followed the scent of Fai's blood. He knew Fai was healed, but the scent of blood was still strong. He saw the small, lithe blonde figure standing by the railings. Panic stuck in his throat, and no matter how hard Kurogane tried to run, his legs wouldn't move.

"Fai!" the word erupted as he slowly, strugglingly took a few steps. The blond turned and make a panicked expression. Kurogane ran and caught the mage by the wrist as he dove off of the bridge. Fai looked up, another fake smile glued to his face.

"Kuro-daddy," Fai opened his blue eyes, "You've always said how much you hate me. That you'd kill me, so why stop me from ending my life?" Kurogane stopped and heaved Fai up over the railing. They both landed on the ground, Fai sitting on Kurogane's lap. "Well, why?" Fai continued to inquire. That question remained unanswered. Fai glowered, red met blue and whirled in a deadly dance.

"Because," Kurogane put a hand on either of Fai's shoulders and held tightly. He then kissed Fai deeply, not understanding how that small action meant so much. Fai gasped at the sudden sign of affection, maybe he was wanted…? _No_, he thought, _No, no, no, no, NO!_ Fai stood and punched Kurogane angrily.

"You can't just kiss me and make it all better, Kurogane!" Fai screamed. Kurogane was taken aback and hurt, strangely enough, by the lack of a cute nickname. Fai glared down at the larger man, tears pouring from his eyes. "Y-you just can't do that! It's not alright! It's just not! And you can't do anything about it!" Fai sobbed, his fists shaking. Kurogane's eyes widened, he understood. Fai was lonely, and he needed love, but nobody had ever given it to him before in the right way.

Kurogane stood and held Fai close. Fai hugged back and cried into Kurogane's shoulder. It was all he could do. He was finally wanted the rain that had threatened for a few hours now had finally started coming down. And the pair stood alone in the rain.

"And I'll be, your crying shoulder. I'll be, love suicide. I'll be, better when I'm older. I'll be… the greatest fan of your life," Kurogane sang quietly as he held the smaller man. He swayed lightly back and forth while stroking Fai's hair gently. "I love you, Fai," Kurogane kissed the top of the Fai's head.

"I… I love you too, Kuro-puu," Fai said and smiled, for once, a genuine.

THE END

A/N: Fai lived btw.... lol... sorry, it's my first angsty story and I forgot some parts...


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